Believe it or not… I have been heavily criticized by certain people for my decision to write on sensitive topics by relatives and so called friends alike. People have said things like:
“How can you criticize a system that led you to where you are today?”
“Aren’t your parents enough for you? That’s how I would feel if my adopted children had a relationship with their biological parents” (grant you, this was a 24 year old girl who has no children and with the grace of God, she will never ever adopt children)
“What about us?, Aren’t we your family?”… said by people who have probably seen me twice in my life.
So, this is a direct response to these allegations, I would like to dedicate this post to answering each of these one by one.
How can I criticize a system that led me to where I am today? Easy. I’m not against where I am, just how I got here. Let me ask you a question… how would you feel if you knew that you were bought at a price? That the government allowed a legal agency to put a price tag on you? That the social workers, which were suppose to be the emotional support system for all parents were making a commission off of your adoption? And that once they made that commission, the government sealed your initial identity and essentially gave your family “copywrite laws” to you?… to be allowed to keep your identity a secret. And that even as an ADULT, you have absolutely no right to your birth records, adoption records, or medical history… because that was included in the hefty price tag. And then society, instead of supporting your rights as an individual… in an era where UNTHINKABLE crimes, like the murder of infants is being supported… people chalk you up as an ungrateful brat. One thing I’m not is ungrateful.But, my gratitude doesn’t always have to reflect on this ONE event that happened in my life.
I would be upset… Simple. Don’t adopt children. Don’t be friends with people who are adopted. Because the most natural thing in the world is wanting to know who you are and where you come from. Watch this video and then we’ll talk. If a parent can love more than one child… why is it so hard to comprehend that a child could love more than one parent? Sadly… when I found this video, on an adoptee support Facebook page, someone commented “Why is this on an adoption Facebook page?” Ummm…. because the fact that we came for A WOMB isn’t secret information…
What about us?… I have to love these judgers because these “relatives” have probably seen me twice in my life. Before you even THINK about making this comment to me… think and answer these questions honestly in your heart:
- When is my birthday? Did you call me on my birthday?
- Have you ever been inside my house?
- Do you know where I work?
- Can you name any of my hopes? Dreams? Goals?
- What are my hobbies?
- What is my ethnicity?
- What is my dog’s name?
You can get off your high hypocrite horse now. Most of the time… bullies are cowards. Ladies and gentlemen… these are the people that are against restoring access to our records… bullies and cowards who have absolutely no relationship with adoptees.